The anthem of my childhood was, what are we doing next, what’s the plan, when are we going, I needed to know every detail of every plan. The anthem until a couple of years ago was, how can I control this to the best of my ability, I needed to control every detail of every plan. Apparently (not by my choice) my anthem for these last couple years has been, I have no idea what’s happening, I can’t even begin to guess where I’ll be in a year. Adulting amiright?
God’s funny like that isn’t he? Of course he would take me – a hyper plan-oriented, controlling person and just continually wreck my plans. Of course the minute I’m finally like, ahhh, I can breathe, I know what the future holds, God is like, “Lol, hold my beer.”
I believe the Lord taught me something so important when He called me out of the life I loved in Toronto – and it’s that if He calls, and I answer, He will be faithful. If He’s wrecking a life I love, it’s only because He has something even that much greater for me. If I answer His call with obedience it will be met with supernatural growth and intimacy.
That’s why it’s bittersweet to tell you, that this life I love so much right now…the Lord is calling me out of it. I’m in a job I love, I’m in a kind of community that I’ve never experienced before – just absolutely incredible, I’m loving the daily routine of my life…and yet, God still calls.
That’s how I know it’s God – I would NEVER have thought this up on my own. Leave me to my one bedroom apartment and my gym membership that includes a eucalyptus steam room, don’t make me go to missionary training where I’ll be living with 10 other girls (I did the sorority house thing once already…)
The Lord is calling me to yet again, drop it all, and move to Hawaii in April for 6 months to pursue a business missionary discipleship training program. Three months I will be in Hawaii in a classroom learning how to best spread the gospel to the Nations, and the other three months I will be somewhere abroad on missions actually implementing what I learned. This is a culmination of everything the Lord has been placing on my heart for the last year…this is exactly where He wants me. And although it would be really easy to fear the future, and I won’t lie – I’m a little scared, I have absolutely no doubt that this is God’s will for my life.
I won’t go into the details about how the Lord made His will known to me (by all means if you want to hear the story just message me), but I will describe one very important revelation that led me here. Because I believe it’s one that everyone can consider in their own life.
March of last year I really felt like God wanted me to write down what I desired in my future spouse, and what I wanted our marriage to look like. One pervasive theme was a person and a marriage that recklessly pursued the will of God – regardless of what it would cost us – when I wrote it, I really believed I meant it. I even wrote specifically that I wanted a spouse who if the Lord was like, “Hey, move to the Middle East and start a ministry…” would not only honor that, but obey without hesitation. A faith so big, and so radical that other people might look in on our marriage and be like, “Dude, those people are nutty…”
Then I felt the Lord prompt me to really examine if I was willing to recklessly obey God like that right now, without a spouse. And I was like, Yes duh – I’ll allow God to make me look like a fool in the eyes of others, and for the last year I really believed that about myself, until I got this call. Until He told me to quit my great job with benefits to go pursue ministry training.
I was like UMMM…WE DIDN’T PLAN THIS GOD, I love my life, don’t do this to me. God gently prompted, but Meghan, I thought you said that you wanted to be the type of person who if I called…you would go. I thought you told me that you wanted to recklessly pursue my will no matter the cost. I thought you told me that you wanted to be the person that people would look at and be like, “dang, that girl is a nut.” I thought you said you were willing to be a fool for me. WELL PLAYED GOD, well played.
So, I’m stepping out in faith.
Pursuing the missions field means support raising. Which ugh, my ego is like dying right now. Honestly, probably a big part of the reason God’s having me to do this. Trust in His ability to provide through others, make me ask for help (no no no thank you), lay my pride aside and admit I’m not above this.
So, you guys, I’m asking that you pray into this. Pray into supporting me, ask the Lord for an amount that you should put towards this mission, and know that your obedience to that prompting is just as radical and important as my obedience to the call. Know that when you sow into what I am doing you are sowing into the Kingdom. Know that even if you yourself aren’t able to drop everything to pursue the mission field, that you are just as crucial, because I couldn’t do it without you. For every missionary there is a team of people who support them, and that support is just as important as the mission itself.
So yeah, dang, this girl is a nut.
P.S. If you feel led to contribute financially here is my gofundme link. I appreciate you more than you know.